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a cold day

I had to walk back to the house along the highway this morning, after dropping the car (the remaining car...) off for scheduled maintenance.

It was so cold, penetratingly cold, killingly cold, and windy--but it was morning, and the sun was out.

dramatic

This afternoon, walking that same route back to the mechanic's, it was a race between me and darkness. The clouds were rosy when I set out, and there was incandescent golden-orange brilliance behind the supermarket. But the light was dying and the wind was fierce, and I felt *very fragile* walking against the stream of homeward-bound cars. Almost no one walks that bit of road. Where there was briefly a sidewalk, I passed a woman walking her dog. Otherwise, I had my footprints from the morning for company. Somehow, my journey felt supernatural. When I was walking, step after step, through the crusty snow, pushing aside briars and the skeletons of mugwort or goldenrod on the safe side of a crash barrier, I felt that I wasn't in the same world as the people driving in cars. I was in some huge, howling, dark world, a world of coldness that would be happy to extinguish every living thing. When I made it to the mechanic's and opened the door into that warmth, I felt staggeringly relieved.

And then I drove home. And I myself was in that nice, ordinary world that I'd been on the outside of, walking on the roadside. But I could remember it.

This entry was originally posted at https://asakiyume.dreamwidth.org/871542.html. Comments are welcome at either location.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
yamamanama
Dec. 13th, 2017 11:27 pm (UTC)
I swear every year, the cold comes earlier and earlier and leaves later and later.
asakiyume
Dec. 14th, 2017 01:05 am (UTC)
For me, I think as I get older, the cold makes me feel more and more aware of death.

sartorias
Dec. 14th, 2017 12:55 am (UTC)
That is austerely beautiful!

Trying to imagine that roadside covered with snow . . .
asakiyume
Dec. 14th, 2017 01:05 am (UTC)
Thank you--it was beautiful. The sky is so expressive.
xjenavivex
Dec. 14th, 2017 02:05 am (UTC)
I remember that feeling
asakiyume
Dec. 15th, 2017 12:20 am (UTC)
I think of how cold your house was--at least I can get warm in the house!
oiktirmos
Dec. 15th, 2017 01:05 pm (UTC)
Beautifully described.
Your description and photo reminded me of the coyote attack on a man walking to work because his car broke down, near a place I have walked. You were fortunate not to have been attacked by a pack of wolves.
http://www.timescall.com/longmont-local-news/ci_24322251/coyotes-attack-man-near-niwot-wildlife-officials-kill

asakiyume
Dec. 15th, 2017 04:15 pm (UTC)
Fortunately (but also dangerously) the highway I was on has a good amount of traffic at that time of day, so coyotes stick clear of it.
mnfaure
Dec. 15th, 2017 01:29 pm (UTC)
cars: Portals into another world, a world within a world
asakiyume
Dec. 15th, 2017 04:15 pm (UTC)
Yes, very much so!
houseboatonstyx
Dec. 16th, 2017 12:10 pm (UTC)
Portals to a different world ... an extension of, more like.

At least, back in the days before air conditioning and tinted windows. When you could see into other cars, each carrying the same lifestyle as the home it came from.
asakiyume
Dec. 17th, 2017 04:45 pm (UTC)
Oh wow--like looking into the windows of people's houses at night. Sometimes I like to look over at the drivers of other vehicles when we're all stopped at stop lights--see who I'm sharing the road with.
wakanomori
Dec. 15th, 2017 11:15 pm (UTC)
That is an uncanny and shiveringly beautiful picture. Walking to and from the conference here the wind is chilly (should have brought a hat!), and the traffic is intense, but I feel like it's a different order of challenge: everything seems a bit softer here.
Instead, in England winter's grip is visible and daunting in the _gloom_ that remains through the brief hours of day: the sun just doesn't have much lighting power here, it seems. Looking forward to coming back to Pioneer Valley's sunshine, whatever the temp!
asakiyume
Dec. 17th, 2017 04:46 pm (UTC)
A gentler cold has its own subtle dangers, I suppose!
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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