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day 2

Let's see if this little NaNoWriMo widget works...





They heard the slam of a door, and out of the darkness, into the light of the fire appeared Mr. M. His eyes were bloodshot and there was the scent of wine around him. He tossed something to Ed.
“Here. Marshmallows. Remember? The package we didn’t eat. Might as well have them now.” He glanced at the corn soaking in the pail. “Where’d you get the water from?” Mary pointed to a tap, just barely visible in the firelight.
“Good. Potable, then.” He thrust both hands into the pail and splashed his face with water, then he put both hands in again, cupped, and took several long drinks.
“The wine really takes it out of you, huh Mr. M,” teased Ed.
“Mind your tongue,” replied Mr. M absently, stretching out in front of the fire. “Is that corn ready to go on yet?”

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
heyes
Nov. 3rd, 2006 08:57 am (UTC)
Quota
Only westerners wouldplay a game that had a daily quota of work. Looks like you met yours!!!
asakiyume
Nov. 3rd, 2006 03:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Quota
As I think you once told me (and it struck me as SO TRUE)--when the work is simultaneously a form of procrastination, you're golden!

I think that may be the secret to all wakanomori's activity. If you do enough stuff, then eventually you will procrastinate from one of your activities by doing your paid work!
grayheyes
Nov. 3rd, 2006 09:34 am (UTC)
see? You could do it and we knew it.
Dave was Jealous!
seuzen
Nov. 3rd, 2006 02:46 pm (UTC)
nano
I registered on the nano site (seuzen) and made you one of my friends? anyway, i tried writing last night but my count was only something like 450 words and i was pooped out from the effort.
asakiyume
Nov. 3rd, 2006 02:57 pm (UTC)
All Right!!
Way to go!! Yay! I will go right now and make you one of my friends, too.

I definitely think slackers like me who work from home on a half-time basis have it much easier in the writing department than single moms keeping down full-time jobs, like you. But I'm betting your word count will go up--wait for the weekend. That's what my friend amberdine tells me. I'll get her to come give you a pep talk. She's the one who suckered me into it!
suzan_s
Nov. 3rd, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
Not sure you want critique or not.....from my writers group days....if the smell of wine is negative I would use "stench" instead of scent. The characters seem alive and the scene is intriguing, well done.
asakiyume
Nov. 3rd, 2006 03:23 pm (UTC)
Oh, sure--I think I always want critique :-)

I think maybe you're right that "scent" sounds too positive... but I don't want it to be quite as negative as "stench"... just, well, noticeable. Maybe I should just say "smell"? Or "odor"? hmm....

suzan_s
Nov. 3rd, 2006 10:37 pm (UTC)
Odor is good....a neutral type of word. Back in my "I'm going to be a writer" days I would spend hours on single words.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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