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pheasants and peasants

wanderer
This, my friends, is a technopheasant, because I keep on saying "technopheasant" instead of "technopeasant."


It's hard to think of anyone online as any kind of peasant at all, really. I mean: really.

But sharing art of all kinds online? Sure!

Here's a poem I wrote in an earlier incarnation, before I became a weatherbeaten wanderer.



The Sea Castle
(c) Francesca Forrest

All along, tall and strong,
They built her walls of colored sand
Ground stone and pure white fishes’ bone
Such was the sand at their command.

"Our walls must match the flying foam,
The ocean's weapon, wrecking waves,
And girdle round our city sound,
That we all snug and safe may sleep,
Not fear cold onslaughts from the deep,
Or trembling dream of drowning graves."

Within the walls they made a tower
Topped by glistening needle spires
Which pricked and bled the brilliant light
And graced the ground with rainbows bright.

Curled round the tower, a spiral stair
And windows wove about its sides
And bells with tones as pure and clear
As winter stars in chilly air
Hung suspended from their sills
Chiming in continual breeze.

But like the bells the people trembled
And dismal fears rang in their ears,
For every zephyr's whispered words
Told tales of gales on thunderous seas.

Beneath the tower's sparkling spires,
Behind the walls of sand and pearl,
The folk grew flowers, passed the hours
On fragrance rare and color fair,
Bud, blossom, flower full
In wind to bloom, in sand to grow.

Cinnamon and cardamom and lemon-leaved geranium
Wild thyme and wintergreen and poppies bearing opium
Forget-me-not and bleeding heart and roses in a bright display
Twisted round the sandy ground and over flagstones silver gray.

And coming there were those whose fear
Of dreaded danger drawing near
Led them beside the plants to pray
For refuge from the frothing spume.

Alas, the roaring louder grew;
The crystal bells could not be heard.
The shining spires seemed to darken,
The trembling people turned to hearken
To the rumbling sounds of doom.

A white foam dragon reared its head
And dashed its coils 'gainst the wall.
A minute melted, then remolded,
Talons slashing, water splashing,
Swirling round and round the wall
And causing it at last to fall!

In comes the water, over flowers,
Over spires, over towers
Lost the bells, the spiral stair,
The windows whence the people brave
Watched wonder-struck the curling wave.

Now do you hear the tide draw near?
Painting the sand with artist's hand,
With strange arrays of sea bouquets,
Sea plants of ivory, brown and rose,
Complex design and lacy line?
Now do you find a spiral shard,
A twisted shell the waves discard,
A shimmering curl of mother of pearl?
For far beneath the ocean's riot
In dreamy depth's profoundest quiet
The crystal castle shining stands
And casts, for memory and for song,
Its sea gifts up upon the sands.

Comments

( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]la_tisana wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC)
super! Francesca, I like very much your poem! it reminds me of Tolkien...
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 02:34 pm (UTC)
:-) Tolkien
When I wrote that poem, I had just finished reading Tolkien's collection of poems, and so it was heavily influenced by Tolkien. (Probably especially the poem "The Sea Bell.") I love Tolkien's poems. I used a line from one as a quotation underneath my yearbook picture when I graduated from high school:

In every wood, in every spring, there is a different green.

[info]la_tisana wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC)
In every wood, in every spring, there is a different green.
I ADORE this poem...:-) and especially THIS line!)))
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
Re: In every wood, in every spring, there is a different green.
See--another thing we have in common! Amazing ♥
[info]wicapis wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
Its sea gifts up upon the sands.


Fantastic, Francesca Forrest! Very moving! Heartfelt!
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 04:51 pm (UTC)
Ah, Wicapis--you share so much lovely poetry all the time; I'm really glad to put one up that you like!
[info]sartorias wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 03:33 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's amazing. I love the winding rhyme scheme, underscoring the tower's images. That is awesome. Geez I wish I could write poetry, it has such a powerful effect in so few words.

I also love the drawing. In fact, I really ought to link to it. I mean, come on, a teknopheasant!
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC)
So glad you liked it! And thanks for the plug--really made my morning!

(the rhyme scheme is very derivative of Tolkien--I had been reading his poems when I wrote that...)
[info]kythiaranos wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 04:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, how beautiful. I love the rhyme scheme, and the imagery is gorgeous. Thank you so much for sharing it. (And the technopheasant is cool as well.)
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, it's so much fun to share--I'm glad for the occasion. It's just been sitting in the computer equivalent of a dresser drawer all this time--so happy for it to have readers!

and the techno-pheasant is just for laughs :-D
[info]jmeadows wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 04:40 pm (UTC)
Wow. Just wow dude. Amazing.
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC)
*blush*

:-)
[info]dark_phoenix54 wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 06:32 pm (UTC)
Ooh! I love the technopheasant!

Now I want a technochicken...
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
Technochickens seem like they could surely be trained to do something useful on the computer...

I'll see if I can draw a technochicken--but you post one if you get around to drawing one first, okay? (We can never have too many technochickens!)
[info]dark_phoenix54 wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 09:01 pm (UTC)
I suspect that technochickens at the computer would mostly peck at the flashing lights and shit on the keyboard... after they ate all the food I've spilled in it.

I'm not sure I can draw a technochicken, but if I come up with any ideas I'll try!
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
For some reason I'm imagining the technochicken in an aviator's helmet...go figure...
[info]dark_phoenix54 wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
Don't forget the scarf and goggles!
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)
one technochicken, coming up!
technochicken

It's so much more fun than editing... I'm so irresponsible...
[info]dark_phoenix54 wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 02:44 am (UTC)
Re: one technochicken, coming up!
OMG! That is so adorable! Is it okay if I save that to my desktop to show my husband?!? (he is known by some of our friends as Chicken Man because he talks and sings to our hens...)
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
Re: one technochicken, coming up!
Sure--free art sharing :-D

glad you like it! I was going to ask if you had chickens, because you seemed pretty intimate with their habits! I don't, but I like watching the ones down the way from us, near where I tap maple trees.
[info]whiskeredsadie wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC)
Re: one technochicken, coming up!
Hee! Love the scarf!
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
Re: one technochicken, coming up!
She's an aviat..rix techno chicken!
[info]ebourland wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC)
Re: one technochicken, coming up!
This is my new desktop wallpaper. =)
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
Re: one technochicken, coming up!
Wow! I'm honored :-D
[info]deponti wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
I think you are a VERY talented woman. Enjoyed both the sketch and the poem. Anything more recent that you could post, too?
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
I'm afraid not really... I'm a very occasional producer... must work on that!

[info]a_soft_world wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC)
I love love love your poem, especially the stanza that starts with "cinnamon and cardamom."

And the technopheasant--when I was first reading about "technopeasant" day I thought it said "pheasant," too. I feel like he should be wearing leather chaps or something.

When I grow up, I want to rock as hard as you do.
[info]dark_phoenix54 wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 09:02 pm (UTC)
I love your icon, and I want eyes like that!

We could turn around the misreading, and have peasant under glass...
[info]a_soft_world wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

And that definitely gave me a very strange image. :-)
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 11:17 pm (UTC)
And in **this** icon, it's like you're looking in the box to see a peasant...or a pheasant... under glass.
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
You already **do** rock!

Next technopheasant will have chaps--that's a great idea!

The ninja girl liked that stanza best too--I loved all the flower and spice names. Especially cardamom :-)
[info]ebourland wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC)
Very lovely poem. It is quite Tolkeinesque. Thank you for sharing that.
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
I meant to tell you last time I saw this icon of yours how much I love it.

And--thank you for reading the poem! I feel so, so lucky to have found some readers for it!
[info]villager9999 wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
Love this poem. I'm going to stay with it awhile. Thanks.
[info]asakiyume wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2007 02:31 am (UTC)
Feel free to download it--poetry for the sharing :-)
[info]elenuial wrote:
Apr. 26th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
I keep on meaning to comment on this and forgetting...
...so before I forget again...

I want a technopheasant!

And about your poem: something that really stands out is that the meter works here. It remains pretty consistent throughout the piece, and where it deviates, it usually serves a purpose in doing so. That's an element often missing from form poetry -- either strict adherence to meter cripples the piece, or sloppy inadherence makes the piece coherence. But here you've done a fine job handling it, and that's a tough thing. Kudos there.

Also, you have a nice feel for rhythm. The lines flow nicely off the tongue -- and that's always a pleasure when reading poetry.

So thank you for sharing. :)
( 36 comments — Leave a comment )

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